♥A Story to Paint

39 Confessions

2011-12-05T17:01:00.001+08:00

Dear you,

Here are 39 confessions of how I feel about you.

1. I bet you didn’t know that it hurts, knowing that you will never like me back.

2. I bet you didn’t know that when I said my heart hurts, it was because of you.

3. I bet you didn’t know how hard it is for me to know that all I’ll ever be to you is just a close friend.

4. I bet you didn’t know that before I go to sleep, you’re the one on my mind.

5. I bet you didn’t know that now I can’t live without you in my life.

6. I bet you didn’t know when you’re not happy, I feel like crying.

7. I bet you didn’t know that I always have to hide my real feelings from you.

8. I bet you didn’t know that I don’t want to ever lose someone special like you.

9. I bet you didn’t know that I love hearing your voice.

10. I bet you didn’t know that you’re all I think about as each second passes.

11. I bet you didn’t know that when you get hurt or sad, I feel hurt and sad, too.

12. I bet you didn’t know that I dreamed of the day you say you like me, too.

13. I bet you didn’t know that I’m scared to tell you how I really feel because I’m scared that it will ruin our friendship.

14. I bet you didn’t know that sometimes I have to restrain myself from making it obvious that I really, really like you.

15. I bet you didn’t know how happy you’ve made me feel all the time.

16. I bet you didn’t know that you’ve inspired me in so many ways.

17. I bet you didn’t know how glad I am to have met you, to have someone like you in my life.

18. I bet you didn’t know that when you’re not with me, I can’t seem to be happy.

19. I bet you didn’t know that the reason why I’m always there when you are is because I wanna be close to you.

20. I bet you didn’t know how much I really care about you.

21. I bet you didn’t know that when you talk to me, it feels as though I’m floating in the sky.

22. I bet you didn’t know that when we hug, I wished it never ended.

23. I bet you didn’t know that when you asked me if I’m okay, I always wanted to answer back, “no”, instead of a “yes”.

24. I bet you didn’t know that I miss you when you’re gone.

25. I bet you didn’t know that you’re my weakness, yet greatest sense of security.

26. I bet you didn’t know the lengths I’d go to just to make you happy.

27. I bet you didn’t know just how much I love your eyes that shine like pretty lights.

28. I bet you didn’t know that when you smile, whether at me or not, I feel my heart beat race a little faster.

29. I bet you didn’t know that I feel so protected, so safe, when I’m with you.

30. I bet you didn’t know that when I’m with you, I can’t see anyone else around us.

31. I bet you didn’t know that I hate it when you’re not happy.

32. I bet you didn’t know that I’d sacrifice myself, and my heart, just for you.

33. I bet you didn’t know that I wish upon an airplane, pretending it’s a shooting star.

34. I bet you didn’t know that when 11:11 roll by, I make a wish.

35. I bet you didn’t know that when you hold my hand, it fits perfectly into yours.

36. I bet you didn’t know that I’ve fallen for you way too deep and now I can’t get out.

37. I bet you didn’t know that all of this ain’t even half of what I’m feeling inside.

38. I bet you didn’t know all this.

But, most of all . . .

39. I bet you didn’t know that I've been in love with you for all this while...

Day 25

2011-08-14T15:55:00.001+08:00

What I would find in my bag.

Hmmm

1. Earphones.
2. Wallet.
3. Phone.
4. Comb
5. Hairband
6. Occasionally pens
7. Occasionally pieces of papers.

Sigh D:

2011-08-12T11:19:00.001+08:00

I've been neglecting my blog. But I don't really have anything to post about and I'm too lazy to do the 30 Days Challenge thing anymore.

Photo Day!

2011-08-04T21:47:00.007+08:00

Here's some pics! :D Sneak peeks!

Senior Class '11 *can see me? :D*

Karmen and Carmen (: love you, babe!

THE BACKGROUND! AAAHHH IT'S SO NICE! Thank God it worked! :D oh, and me :D

The Magazine Editor People From Clockwise: Zhao Yu (Head of Journalism), Me (Head of Magazine Editor), Michelle (Proofreader), Claudia (Head of Layouts & Designs), David in the coat (Head of Finance and Marketing), Daniel in suspenders (Assistant Magazine Editor), Reuben (Head of Special Task Force) and Brandon in white (School Collage Master)

Charis with the two C/Karmen's

Senior Class Casual

Notice this sort of look like a pyramid? :D

Best picture of David (in the background) so far. LOL just kidding, Dave (:

Don't mind us, we're just cool (:

Eee, yeah I cut people out :D HAHA. :D except I couldn't cut Zhao Yu's nor Chelle's face...

The Leong's Girls (: Darn Elise for closing her eyes D:
No, they're not my sisters. They just have the same surname.

Day 23

2011-07-24T21:31:00.003+08:00

Something you crave for a lot

Happiness, that's what I crave for (:

Day 22

2011-07-22T07:47:00.002+08:00

What makes me different from everybody else?

Could be my ability to accept people, even the ones rejected?
I always have been able to mix around with friends be it Indians, Malays, Chinese, Philippians, Papua New Guineans, etc. I have a whole range of people who I can call friends, non-Christians, Christians, and different races. I put up with people who thinks smoking is fun (though I highly discourage it), and I have plenty of weird friends, that's for sure. But mostly, I have friends, who have and still are looked down upon, and people have been criticizing them from the outskirt appearances, yet I can still say ‘That’s my friend’.

They don’t know the real them they are, they don’t stick around to get to know them. When they do something that piss them off, immediately they are judged and people stay away from them. People come up to me and ask “Why are you friends with them?” and I ask them “Why do you hate them so much?” because I really don't understand why they dislike them.

I find it uncomfortable when someone talks bad about them, because they are my friends. So I usually defend them, which sometimes make me loose a friend because of that. They are my friends. You got a problem, tell it to their face. Don’t be such a coward and talk bad about them behind their backs, especially when they aren’t there to defend themselves.

Could it be my ability to love?
I find it very easy to love. I love my friends so much; it hurts to see them hurt. I would do ANYTHING to bring a smile on their face – even if it kills me. I’ll jump in front of a bullet for my friends. No joke. Of course, if people ask me to prove my love for them by killing myself, I’ll just punch their face. (:

When I love, I love. I go out there to help them. I put my problems aside for theirs. I do impulsive things for them. I fake my happiness so it won’t ruin my friend’s happiness. Sacrifice. I sacrifice the things I wanna do for them, because my friends are worth more than myself.

Every now and then, I like to remind my friends how much I love them because I feel as though I wasn’t showing it. So I usually make things for them (like bookmarks) or write nice things on a little piece of note. Friendships are forever.

Could it be my ability to stay strong when all else fails?
Yes, everybody go through that, but everyone’s problems are different. For me, like stated above, I put my problems aside. In school people see me smiling and laughing. At home, I get depressed. Occasionally I let someone know what I’m feeling, but I don’t reveal everything to them because I don’t want to make it a burden. But life goes on. It doesn’t stop for anyone. I make decisions that may be best for me, even if it hurts me. I’ve thought of suicide (tell me, who haven’t?), but yet I’m still alive.

I stay strong for people, even when I can’t stay strong for me.

People’s Answers on What Makes Me Different from Everybody Else:
Hubert: Well, You're really kind and supportive... At least, to me. You listen to my problems. Even though sometimes you bear them with me. You're too nice at times. :P Hurting yourself for others. But basically, a kind, supportive and all around happy person.

Suan Kai: You are strong, bold, smart, funny, diligent, trustworthy and the most important is.. You are You. :))

Sarah: Your personality. The way you always try to help your friends instead of yourself, you're more likely to jump down a cliff to save them than to sit there and do nothing. You’re a positive thinker. You’re only positive when it's about your friends but when it comes to you, you're pretty emo. So pretty much you care about your friends more than anyone could in their whole existence.

Esther: You’re really understanding

Lei Shen: You are sensitive, that's for sure. (-.-)

David: You're willing to stand up for what is right. You're willing to hurt yourself for the other person.

Iain: You're understanding. And you're the closest match to who I am.

But, I guess. At the end of the day… What makes YOU different from everybody else?

Btw, if you have any more suggestions, please do write out your opinions (:

Day 21

2011-07-10T17:52:00.003+08:00

A picture of something that makes you happy.

This is Iain Chan Ziyan. My best friend. (:

He makes me happy and I am so terribly glad to have met him. I can't imagine my life without him no more. He's part of who I am and although I don't really 'know' it, he's the sweetest. Smart, funny, loving, dependable and TOTALLY AWESOME, I love this crazy Simple Plan fan :D

I love you, Iain :D

Day 20

2011-07-10T17:42:00.005+08:00

Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.

Rhys Wakefield!!

Don't judge me. He's cute. If not him then...

YAMASHITA TOMOHISA~~~!!!!!! (Yamapi)

But in reality, I honestly don't know who. When I try to picture, his face comes blank. We'll just see on my wedding day, aye? (:

The Story of Us

2011-07-06T07:44:00.003+08:00

I used to think one day we'd tell the story of us
How we met and the sparks flew instantly
People would say, "they're the lucky ones"
I used to know my place was a spot next to you
Now I'm searching the room for an empty seat
'Cause lately I don't even know what page you're on
Oh, a simple complication
Miscommunications lead to fall out
So many things that I wish you knew
So many walls up I can't break through

[Chorus]
Now I'm standing alone
In a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
I don't know what to say
Since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us
Looks a lot like a tragedy now

Next chapter

How'd we end up this way?
See me nervously pulling at my clothes
And trying to look busy
And you're doing your best to avoid me
I'm starting to think one day I'll tell the story of us
How I was losing my mind when I saw you here
But you held your pride like you should have held me
Oh, we're scared to see the ending
Why are we pretending this is nothing?
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how
I've never heard silence quite this loud

[Chorus]

This is looking like a contest
Of who can act like they care less
But I liked it better when you were on my side
The battle's in your hands now
But I would lay my armor down
If you'd say you'd rather love than fight
So many things that you wish I knew
But the story of us might be ending soon

Now I'm standing alone
In a crowded room
And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
I don't know what to say
Since a twist of fate
When it all broke down
And the story of us
Looks a lot like a tragedy now, now, now

And we're not speaking
And I'm dying to know
Is it killing you
Like it's killing me?
I don't know what to say
Since a twist of fate
'cause we're going down
And the story of us
Looks a lot like a tragedy now

Day 19

2011-07-05T21:42:00.003+08:00

Nicknames you have; why do you have them

1. Men Men - a pet nickname I've gotten since I was a kid, called by my family and friends.

2. Shorts - cos I'm short, a nickname I got from Chelle and Charis.

3. Shortie - self-explanatory.

4. Chopsticks - called by Vincent Bayang cos he saw me using chopsticks. This was in PNG.

5. Bookworm - cos I love reading books.

6. Peacock - wore my hair once like a peacock.

7. Many Many - a joke from Leilani.

8. Men Men Junior - no idea why Anand called me that.

9. Sai Man - small me -.-

10. Kichit - Grandpa called me that. Used to be because I was the youngest. Now Ah San had took that nickname from me D:

11. KarMii - a cute nickname from Bea.

12. Pocket Size - Ever heard of Fun Size? Yeaap, Pocket Size is SMALLER than the usual Fun Size.

Speak Now

2011-07-04T17:09:00.003+08:00

Day 18

2011-06-30T21:40:00.001+08:00

Plans/dreams/goals you have

1. To do more worlk

2. To help friends overcome their problems.

3. Forget my problems.

Day 17

2011-06-17T18:00:00.002+08:00

Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why

Idk. Maybe someone from the olden days when Jesus was still alive.

Or someone famous. Like Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift.

But honestly, I don't think I want to be anybody else but me.

Awkward Moment

2011-06-10T13:34:00.002+08:00

One thing I hate about YouTube videos especially when you're watching a show is when the moment it gets to the intense bit, it starts to buff, because it hasn't been fully uploaded yet.

Groans.

So now I'm stuck, wondering what to do and I simply refuse to watch Part 2 of the The Tribes episode I'm watching as it might spoil some stuff for me.

I guess I'm left writing here. Not saying it's a bad thing. It's just that I had gleefully left my show to load while I go make lunch and not even half way through, the show gets frozen and I'm left waiting while my food gets cold.

Sigh.

Rolling In The Deep

2011-06-09T13:29:00.003+08:00

She is AWESOME. And she's only 11! (: Thumbs up! (:

Day 16

2011-06-03T13:58:00.002+08:00

Another picture of yourself

*credits to David*

Day 15

2011-05-21T22:43:00.002+08:00

Put your iPod (or phone in my case) on shuffle: First 10 songs that play

1. Taylor Swift - Forever & Always

2. Simple Plan - Save You

3. S Club 7 - Natural

4. Kate DeAraugo - Faded

5. N'sync - It Makes Me Ill

6. David Archuleta - A Little Too Not Over You

7. Orianthi - According To You

8. Justin Bieber - That Should Be Me

9. Justin Bieber - Up

10. Auburn - All About Him

Oh wow, out of 227 songs, Justin Bieber came up TWICE? o.o And plus, my songs are REALLY OLD. Hmm. Time to add new songs! (:

Day 14

2011-05-21T22:39:00.001+08:00

A picture of you and your family :D

Well, this picture was taken ... two years ago. Sorry. Don't have very recent ones.

Is it better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all?

2011-05-19T17:01:00.002+08:00

For me, I think it is better to have loved and lost than not have loved at all. Why do I say that? Because we can learn a lot of things from both loving and losing someone.

One thing we can learn from it is the value of the things we have. We learn to appreciate it. Often we didn't realize how special it was and how important it was until it is gone. So, once it is gone, we learn that in the future, we would be more appreciative of things, including love.

Another reason would be because to have loved is a wonderful feeling. 'Love' gives the cliche feeling of the warmth, happiness and joyful feeling. You can't help but smile with the presence of love around you. Love helps see the good points in other people, despite their many flaws. Like it is mentioned in 1 Corinthians Chapter 13: "Love is patient, love is kind ...", love is all of these. It is a reason why it is so cliche, because it actually happens.

If you have loved and lost, you would be able to relate to most peers. You can advise them when they have just recently lost someone; you can comfort them. To have loved and lost also makes you stronger. You learn that life goes on, and that later in life you will gain something much more better. You would realize that the heart is stronger than it seems, that you are still able to smile when everything is going wrong.

If you never loved, you wouldn't learn to appreciate things. You wouldn't even appreciate them if you didn't love it! If you never loved, you wouldn't have to go through all the pain, but then you wouldn't be able to relate to a friend when they come to your for comfort. It would be really awkward for you.

That is why I would rather have loved and lost than to not have loved at all.

Day 13

2011-05-19T16:49:00.002+08:00

A letter to someone who's hurt you recently

Hey, remember me?

That girl you used to hang out with? The one you dubbed 'second closest female friend'? What happened to that? What happened to us? I remember you. You used to be there when I needed you. You used to be the one who picked me up in my darkest moments. You taught me a lot. I could never forget. You used to be the one who made me laugh all the time. You're the boy I fell in love with.

You're also the boy who broke my heart.

And you knew about it. You knew I was hurting. You lied to me. You betrayed me. But it wasn't like that, was it? It was because you 'cared' about me that made you do what you did. You tried to help me and I admire you for that. You tried to help me get over you by driving me away, but avoiding me. But it didn't work, did it?

I still love you. But you don't know that. I cried for you, because of you. But you didn't know that either. You don't know my feelings. You stand there, joking with me and laughing with me - not to mention, bully me T.T - but you have no idea.

It hurts. Thinking what an idiot I must have been. That you will never love me. That you love someone else. It hurts knowing how I cried for you, you who were a few feet away from my tears, unaware. You hurt me so much and are still hurting me. It also hurts to think that you think I'm over you.

But that's okay. Because it's my fault. I've inconvenienced you. I've selfishly continued to love you. You're not the one who should apologize. It should be me.

So I'm sorry. For everything.

And I'm sorry that I still love you.

2011-05-04T16:18:00.000+08:00

Will post Day 13 soon...

Day 12

2011-04-10T21:30:00.002+08:00

How you found out about Blogger and why you made one

I found out about Blogger through my sister, when I saw her creating one. Curios, I began to read her blog. And then I wanted one, too.

Reason being? Cos my friend Shower convinced me to. She said "So I can know what goes on in your life"

LOL Not that she reads my blog anymore. Hmph. ;X

But yeah. A way to let my friends know what goes on in my life.

Although I've long stopped blogging about my life and started blogging more interesting - I hope - blog posts. So yeah.

That's my Day 12

Day 11

2011-04-09T22:58:00.001+08:00

Another picture of you and your friends

Day 10

2011-04-09T17:13:00.002+08:00

Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad

Hahaha this seems interesting.

Okay.

1. Happy
- Gemuruh
- Mine

2. Sad
- Back to December
- Because You Live
- Boulevard of Broken Dreams
- Save You

3. Bored
- The Dream Must Stay Alive
- Love Drunk
- Gone
- Homecoming
- That's What You Get

4. Mad
- The Last Night

Day 09

2011-04-09T17:10:00.001+08:00

Something you’re proud of in the past few days

I'm not exactly sure but I guess it'll be ... ehhmmm ... being able to stay happy(er) for a long time despite people trying to stir up trouble.

I think...

Lol. I've been slacking. I'll post up Day 10... soon...

WEEEE

2011-03-29T18:08:00.000+08:00

OMG I TOTALLY FORGOT TO WRITE IT DOWN

FORGOT TO BLOG ABOUT IT

BUT

I CAN SPEAK IN TONGUES!

WEEEEEEE

Only a little bit, uttered my first baby words at church on Sunday the other day.

But weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

(: (: (: (: (: (: (:

Am listening to To The Ends of The Earth now :D

=.=

2011-03-26T18:45:00.002+08:00

Is it just me or have the word 'dreams' been appearing everywhere all of a sudden?

But anyway, after hearing the news. I feel so happy for you! :D

Day 8

2011-03-26T18:29:00.002+08:00

Short term goals for this month and why

1. Finish as many books as I can so I can graduate faster.

2. Be a better person. Stop being so sad! What's past is past.

3. Dream big. (No, Charis, I do not mean those kind of dreams)

4. Finish SEP Section 2 and 3 by the end of this month. So I won't rush into it next month.

5. Lose weight. Get in shape before Blazing Aces.

6. Get closer with God. I've been slacking. I'm so sorry, Father.

7. Pluck the courage to tell you the truth.

Ryan Shupe, Dream Big

2011-03-24T20:50:00.000+08:00

When you cry be sure to dry your eyes
'Cause better days are sure to come
And when you smile be sure to smile wide
Don't let them know that they have won
And when you walk, walk with pride
Don't show the hurt inside
Because the pain will soon be gone

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

When you laugh be sure to laugh out loud
'Cause it will carry all your cares away
And when you see, see the beauty all around and in yourself
And it'll help you feel okay
And when you pray, pray for strength
To help you carry on
When the troubles come your way

And when you dream, dream big
As big as the ocean blue
'Cause when you dream it might come true
When you dream, dream big

The Dream Must Stay Alive

2011-03-17T15:00:00.002+08:00

Was watching Tribe: The New Tomorrow when I saw the 'Tribe: Movie Trailer'. Curiosity got the best of me so I clicked and watched the trailer. Not bad. The background song was nice and I really like the lyrics (:

Mind the grammer, peeps. (:

Look in to the future, what do you see?
I really need to know now, is there a place for me?
Tell me where do we go from here

Take me as you find me, for what I am
And when I make mistakes, please understand
And as long as I know you're near
There is nothing for me to fear

CHORUS
Out of the darkness, a light shines
Burning through the coldest night
And we can find a way
(together we'll make it)
With every step we take
(moving be closer together)
If we're gonna survive
The dream must stay alive

Baby will you hold me, When I'm afraid
See me through the danger, till the break of day
If there's love there's a chance for me
Just believe in youreself you'll see

CHORUS

And as long as I know you're near
There is nothing for me to fear

CHORUS

Day 7

2011-03-14T09:39:00.015+08:00

A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you

1. God. What He has done for me is indescribable. And there's no picture because no one really knows how He looks like until we go to heaven. (:

2. My family. Self-explanatory.

3. My friends in Vineyard Church. *from left to right* Esther, my 'mummy', who is always a laugh to be with. Samantha my 'daughter', who we can talk craps about celebs with, *skip me* Elizza the hyperactive girl who's always so cheerful, Chelle the Best Friend who will always be there for me, and Anthea the 'baby' among the group but also one of the most girly-girls I know! Even girlier than Claudia!!

4. Dear sweet Claudia Chai (: Thank you, for always listening to my problems, for being understanding, compassionate and just plain awesome (:

5. Carmen Chang. My pretty sidekick. HAHA! Love you to bits! You give the warmest hugs and I love all those talks we've shared. Thanks for listening to me, and thanks for sharing the same name as me (:(:(:

6/7. David Foo and Charis Wong. David, one of the closest guy friends I have whom I tell everything to - other than girls' stuff, of course. Funny, loud, caring, kind. You have the characteristics not many boys have as a gentleman. Don't change!!! Charis, hyperactive and bubbly, you always have a smile upon your face. You are one of a kind. I can't remember when was the last time I actually had such bubbly friend who's always so HAPPY! (: You never cease to bring a smile upon my face (:

7. Lastly, Sam. Erm. What to say? He's a great friend. Someone who you'll have tons of fun with, and someone who hardly ever judged. Hard to find friends like him. He's, for sure, a keeper (: (ohoh and Jon with his cooooooooolllddddd hands!! :D)

8. Papers. Why do I say papers? Because papers give me the freedom to vent, to write whatever I feel inside. Yeah I know, so does blogger - especially my *ahem* emo *cough* blog - but I can't go online to blog all the time, can I now? Another reason is because papers ... aiya, just go to my Inspirational Whispers blog :X

It's on my link site. Oh just click here

There are many more but I'm too lazy to write it out. I'll just list their names:

1. Stupid Boon Sing :P
2. Pei Sak (:
3. The Tan family (Danica, Ben, Bryann)

And many more lah. I'm even too lazy to list 'em down. Gawsh, I'm lazy ._.

Dayum D:

Owh D:

2011-03-12T20:13:00.002+08:00

Was playing badminton with Ka Hoe and Sarah today. Had fun.

I fell down.

Backwards.

On my butt.

In a puddle.

-.-

No joke. Now it's starting to hurt.

Like crazy

On a random thought, my bruises on each legs are starting to look really ugly and painful.

Day 6

2011-03-09T16:54:00.002+08:00

Favorite super hero

Wanna know who's my super hero?

It's Jesus. And the reason is unexplainable. Because He is my Savior. Because He died for our sins. Because He loves us.

Another super hero?

God.

No one can defeat him. All super heroes in the world look like normal people compared to him.

So yes, they are my two super heroes.

Day 5

2011-03-08T20:19:00.001+08:00

A picture of somewhere you've been to

Which is somewhere in Cameron Highlands

I love you, Bee!

2011-03-07T22:56:00.001+08:00

I miss you, Bee D:

Day 4

2011-03-04T17:44:00.002+08:00

A habit that you wish you didn’t have

A habit I wish I didn't have, eh? Hmmm... idk...

I have a lot of bad points I wish I don't have (impatient, procrastination, impulsive, thinking too much, etc)

So yeah. Got A LOT, wei. So not exactly sure which to pick.

But I do wish I had none of those bad habits of mine, because, well, they're bad.

Heh.

I really dunno what to say so I guess that's it. (:

I know, useless. Ah well.

Day 3

2011-03-04T17:29:00.004+08:00

A picture of you and your friends

Vineyard Church

Vineyard Homeschool

Vineyard Church friends

Boon Sing, Char Nie, me

Well, I don't have a picture of ALL my friends in one, so I'd took these few pictures. And it's still not a picture of all my friends. Hmmmphhh. D:

Day 2

2011-03-03T17:10:00.002+08:00

Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name

"A story to paint . . . A splat, a dot, a stroke, and a scribble here and there~"

The meaning behind my blog name is simple, really.

"A story to paint"...

My story is a like a painting, filled with assorted colors, colors of my mood.

"A splat"...

Life can get messy for me.

"A dot"...

A dot symbolizes the phase where a situation is going on.

"A stroke"...

From the situation, it grows bigger and longer.

"And a scribble here and there"...

Until it gets even messier.

Heh.

I just crapped. Mostly the meaning of my blog is just that life is like a painting. (:

taa-daaaaaa :D

Day 1

2011-03-03T17:00:00.003+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I am a girl as you all can see.

2. I love God, hates Devil

3. I am in love with Steven R McQueen :D

4. I love aaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllll my friends.

5. I'm too nice.

6. I can be evil and rude to people I despise.

7. I love writing stories.

8. Purple is the color, so remember it.

9. I'm sentimental. Reaallllyyy, I am.

10. I'm short.

11. I love CHARIS!!! And everyone else.

12. I've lived in Papua New Guinea

13. Paper is my best friend.

14. I am sixteen years old.

15. I can jump from one thing to another.

30 Days Challenge

2011-03-03T16:59:00.001+08:00

Day 01- A recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself
Day 02- The meaning behind your Blog name
Day 03- A picture of you and your friends
Day 04- A habit that you wish you didn’t have
Day 05- A picture of somewhere you’ve been to
Day 06- Favorite super hero and why
Day 07- A picture of someone/something that has the biggest impact on you
Day 08- Short term goals for this month and why
Day 09- Something you’re proud of in the past few days
Day 10- Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad
Day 11- Another picture of you and your friends
Day 12- How you found out about Blogger and why you made one
Day 13- A letter to someone who has hurt you recently
Day 14- A picture of you and your family
Day 15- Put your iPod on shuffle: First 10 songs that play
Day 16- Another picture of yourself
Day 17- Someone you would want to switch lives with for one day and why
Day 18- Plans/dreams/goals you have
Day 19- Nicknames you have; why do you have them
Day 20- Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future
Day 21- A picture of something that makes you happy
Day 22- What makes you different from everyone else
Day 23- Something you crave for a lot
Day 24- A letter to your parents
Day 25- What I would find in your bag
Day 26- What you think about your friends
Day 27- Why are you doing this 30 day challenge
Day 28- A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?
Day 29- In this past month, what have you learned
Day 30- Your favorite song.

My Memory Box

2011-02-25T16:11:00.003+08:00

Open that box, what do you find?
A box filled with wonderful memories of mine.
It's filled with things I cherish as gold.
Gold that is forever mine to hold

They may be simple, they may be nothing.
But to me, they are simply something
The things in my box contain my past
And things that are yet to come

Letters, pictures, drawings and notes,
Key chains, poems, and even old quotes
Bring the memories back like yesterday
Playing each moment like a rewind tape.

Remember the time we laughed so hard til we cried?
The time we knew we couldn't lick our elbows, yet we still tried?
The times you were there for me, though I wasn't for you,
When my problems disappeared because you helped me get through

Remember when I said we needed a break, because it hurts?
I'm sorry for that, ; I never meant to be such a jerk.
We're friends again, but I don't regret all I had said.
I just wish it didn't destroy what we had.

I remember the days we were young and immature.
The two of us would plan our whole future together.
You and me, that's all we needed.
Now look at us, we're just too darn busy.

Friendships and love have always been made.
But time after time, it will start to fade.
We drift away, we lose contact.
Now it's too late to get it back.

I'm scared, it hurts, to say goodbye.
I don't ever want to let this fly.
In a blink of an eye, the year will end.
But remember this, my dear sweet friends.

One day we'll go our separate ways.
But before we leave, just let me say:
"Though we're far but in our hearts
Know that we will never part"

Sometimes...

2011-02-06T17:23:00.002+08:00

Sometimes God breaks our spirit to save our soul.

Sometimes He breaks our heart to make us whole.

Sometimes God sends us pain so we can be stronger.

Sometimes He sends us failure so we can be humble.

Sometimes God sends us illness so we can take better care of ourselves.

Sometimes He takes everything away from us so that we can learn the "value" of everything He gave us.

So enjoy every second in every moment, and never regret but look towards the future and not the past...

Hmmmm

2011-01-30T15:35:00.000+08:00

I was re-reading my blog posts and I still find these blog posts nice

----------------------->

CNY

2011-01-30T14:37:00.002+08:00

I might not be able to go online any time soon sooo

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR, PEOPLE! ;D

Heh, am going away to Kelatan. Will be back on Friday. Weeeeee gonna watch Vampire Diaries like gile all the way! :D

Don't worry, I'll try to do my group speeches *notice I said try* :D

Till then, people. :D

It's a happy day

2011-01-20T14:33:00.000+08:00

Somehow this song is stuck in my head and I don't know why.

But I'm not complaining:

It's a happy day
And I thank God for the weather
It's a happy day
Living it for my Lord

It's a happy day
Things are gonna get better
Living each day by the promises
In God's word

OMG I HA-LOVE YOU GUYS!

2011-01-10T16:49:00.003+08:00

I've got smiley faces all over everywhere!

Haha, okok. I know it's late, but I had an awesome Sweet Sixteen! :DDD

Thank you, my lovely lovely schoolmates! *yeessh, everyone in school! :D*

Sweet Sixteen at last, eh?

First, I walked to lengzai's place for breakfast. Charis came down to pui me. Talked and then went up. The gate was already opened so we walked inside. Garrett came, wished me and hugged me. Awwww. :D

Then lil Elise jumped on me. Haha. While I was struggling not to fall and walk to my table, everybody were like "Happy birthday". Thank you, thank you. :D

Wandered over to my table and saw ..... MY LOVELY BLUE YOOHOO DOLL! Thank you, Carmen, Claudia and Charis! Me love it! :DDD Oh and David's Christmas present to me. Lol.

Chapel, then Sher-Mayne's pep talk. Then it was Bible. Charis threw sixteen sweets at me. -.- The irony of sweet sixteen. Lol!

The day started off as like any other ordinary school day as it should. Then math came. I sauntered over to David and asked if he was going down. He said, "Uh, no. Can tapau for me?"

Shrugging, I said "Yeah."

"Two pan mee dry and a can of coke."

Raising an eyebrow, I guess it meant he was supposed to tapau for someone else. "Yeah, sure."

Money was given and I walked back to Charis, sighing. "Looks like I gotta tapau for David."

She grinned. "One's mine. I asked him to help me tapau pan mee."

I looked at her. "Yeah..."

"I gotta go Parkson for awhile, that's why. Need to go buy stuff."

Suspicion arose but I kept quiet. When the bell dinged for lunch, after...David, I think?...prayed, Chelle, Charis and I went to the lift.

"We need to go across to go buy stationaries," Chelle said grinned.

I rolled my eyes and stifled a laugh. Oh gosh. It was so obvious, what they were all planning now.

"Uh huh," Charis agreed and began listing the 'stationaries' she needed to buy.

"Then we need to buy batteries for my brother," Chelle added.

Rolling my eyes and laughing, I just said "whatever" and we went our separate ways. I tapau-ed and went back up. Ate lunch. In the middle of lunch, Garrett came with a bouquet of roses, saying it was from him and David. Hehe! Thank you so much, guys! David, prove that you're not such a bad person after all. Haha! :D

Then afterwards, I walked to the back and Francyne was talking to me. Then Chelle led me back to the children's church and Francyne jumped of me, continue to talk to me. Suddenly from behind... "Happy Birthday to you..."

I turned and saw... Secret Recipe's Chocolate Indulgence. YUM! :D

Ate cake *honestly, it was sooooo chocolate-y D:* and continued doing work. After work, school was over. Hanged with my friends before leaving. Was excited for that night, I was going out dinner with family.

Skip to dinner. We ate steamfish. Yum! Was a little annoyed because my sister was on the phone the entire time. After dinner we went to Secret Recipe to buy cake since Karl wanted cake. Once we reached there, she suggested we go down to eat instead of taking away. I thought it was a little bit unusual but didn't say anything. Probably because it was cheaper.

Talked to Karl on the way as we entered.

"Happy Birthday to you..."

Ohmigosh.

I looked up and saw Aunty Pek See, Claudia, Brandon, Josh, Daniel, David, Charis, Garrett, and Michelle!! And there was White Chocolate on the table. Oh maaan, I'm gonna get F-A-T! =C

So after blowing the candles, Chelle wanted to take picture. Decided to pose silly face. Was wondering why she took soooooooo long just to take a picture when she said "OH! I was taking video the entire time"

*facepalm*

Then she took the picture and we all sat down to eat. Had lots of fun. :D

Argued with Dan. It was funny. At first started off with David and Dan arguing. Occasionally, Garrett would try to speak up. He was trying to defend David, yet that idiot was like "Garrett, shut up". Lol. (:

Then it was time to go home. Heeh. I had fun. Really fun. :D

Thank you, Lord, for giving me such an awesome sweet sixteen. But thank you evermore that sixteen years later, I'm still alive even though people had thought I wouldn't make it to the first month of my life. Thank you so so much for such wonderful family and friends. I don't know what I'll do without those crazy, joyous, silly and idiotic people in my life. :D

*btw, sorry no pictures :D*

Sweet Sixteen

2011-01-03T16:32:00.002+08:00

Somehow, it hasn't hit me yet, nor do I feel excited that I'm turning sweet sixteen. What's another day?

I mean, yeah, it's my birthday, but it's also nothing really special.

I lie.

I guess I am excited, wanting to know if this year is different than last year. Last year I had continuously 'drop hints' at people that it was my birthday. It was actually sort of depressing how I always remember my friend's birthday but yet they don't even bother to jolt down mine.

So this year I want it to be different. I might go around saying 'Nah, I don't really want anything' but deep down I do.

Ah well. Too late to do anything, right? In seven good hours I turn 16.

But hey, if you guys forgot or didn't get anything, I'm good.

And, plus, I'm finally getting rid of that bumble bee first post. Lol.

Anyway, 2011 has arrived, finally. I've promised myself a few resolutions and the top is to be closer to God. Next would be to do more work ;D and the third would be to be a better and happier person. I will try to look to the future and forget about the past. I'm sure many of you will agree. hehe :D

Happy New Year, guys. Hope it's an awesome one.

Busy Busy Week

2010-12-06T11:03:00.003+08:00

I'm gonna be a busy busy bee with a busy busy week (:

Going to VBS from Wednesday to Saturday. Wooooooooooo. My last year in VBS, can see my friends more often, learn more about God, watch Narnia! On the downside, the stupid dare I made with Jeffrey. -.- Blek. Not looking forward to that. =[

Then right after VBS, am heading down to Ipoh for one night. Yay! Gonna eat eat eat and get fat. =X

Then Sunday morning heading towards Cameron. Wanna go back there for the ice cream sundae, the coolness, and take pictures with Mister Pumpkin! *don't ask*

Can't wait can't wait can't wait! (:

Coming back on Monday. Probably gonna be tiring.

But I'm nearly done with my Christmas shopping! Hehehe (: Just have to buy at least...errrm.. two more presents, I think? I'm getting broke. Literally. T_T

But you guys are worth it, and I hope that you guys like your presents. I know I like them. In fact, I might just steal them all to myself and leave you guys nothing (: (:

Uh oh.

2010-12-02T16:32:00.001+08:00

uh oh! i'm in trouble!

i think i'm getting addicted to Makoma's songs again. Weeeeeeeee (:

My three favs are 1) Napesi, 2) Nzambe Na Bomoyi and 3) Natamboli

Things to do

2010-12-01T15:08:00.002+08:00

I am posting up ten things to do during the holidays which will be posted on the side

--------------------->

Where Rainbows End

2010-11-29T14:10:00.003+08:00

Rosie: I think everything is finally falling into places.

Ruby: And then she go ahead and jinxes herself. She will never learn . . .

Hey there...

2010-11-29T13:27:00.002+08:00

You know something? I hate you. Yes, you. Wanna know why?

Because you are a liar. Everybody knows you're a liar, you yourself know that you're a liar. And you still continue to lie to cover up to keep that pretty lil face of yours. You lie and lie and when people confront you about your lies, you lie some more, making a bigger web of lies. Sometimes I wonder how you managed to even keep track of all of them.

Because you are a backstabbing two-face. You spread rumors about people you dislike because you're jealous that they're so much better of a person than you are. Yet in front of them you act as though they are your best friends when clearly you think they're not. You diss about them behind their back and when they hear about it and confront you, you deny them of course. If not, you cry and beg them to forgive you. Disgusting little creature you are. -.-

Because you are selfish. Everything must always be about you. When you don't get what you wanted, you start telling everyone how unfair life is and how the people who got what you wanted is so arrogant because they have it and you don't. You need people to help you but if they refuse you sulk. If they do and then when they need you to do a favor for them, sometimes you help them and most of the times you end up making it seem as though they forced you. You ungrateful little girl.

You think everybody loves you but everybody hates you. You think you're so high and mighty when everyone think low of you because of your attitude. Pretty soon, everything is gonna backfire on you.

Just a head warning.

Silly little people (:

2010-11-23T15:24:00.005+08:00

I look at this picture and I laugh.

It may not mean much, but it does. If you take a closer look, you'll see just how much fun we all have being with each other, acting silly. That no matter what happens, whether we fight or we move on, we're all gonna love each other.

You can see the love, the fun times, the friendship. It may not be printed out in words, but in our face expressions, it's there.

I love you girls *and Dan and Basil*

Smiling Again

2010-11-20T18:37:00.002+08:00

You're gone. Finally gone. And though it's killing me inside knowing you're never gonna be there by my side anymore, I know that one day... I'll be able to smile again. But that's gonna be a long time to come, I guess..

Awards Day / Movie Day

2010-11-19T08:33:00.004+08:00

OMG It was AWESOME!

I love you guys! Uma, Ka Hoe, Parssanth, Sarah! Thanks for coming! Now I just can't wait for the photos Lerry took to be uploaded.

Weeeeeeeee (:

Let's just say it was a success and I'm a little bit sad that it's over. That's why we got to celebrate at Signatures, Garden/MidValley watching Megamind! It was hilarious! After the movie, me and my friends went to Sushi King to eat and after eating we all sort of chilled at MPH, reading books until it was time to go home.

But I had a fun time. Will miss you guys. Can't wait for scoring! (:

Anyway, Sarah, thanks for the upload! Sorry I took the pics from your blog (:

All of us! weee (Ka Hoe, Parsh, me, Sarah, Uma)

Uma and Ka Hoe

The Girls

The Girls (again)

The Boys

Me and Kor

Talk to the hand. hahahahah (:

Parssanth and me (:

Me and Sarah

Me and Uma

I had a fun time with all of you! Can't wait to see you guys again! (: Miss you!!! (:

Eeeeeeeeeeee

2010-11-16T18:03:00.002+08:00

Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrooooooooooooooooo

I sound like a dog! Oh gosh!

I'm scared.

Awards Day is tomorrow. Deeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

I hope and hope and HOPE that tomorrow will end weeeelllll. Cos if it doesn't, I'm in trouble.

bye!

Where Did the Time Go?

2010-11-13T16:36:00.003+08:00

Uh oh.

I just realized that tomorrow Angela, Lerida and I have to teach the WHAMMERS lessons. And it's Elizza's birthday and I haven't wrapped her present yet. =X

Then on Monday it's Spelling Bee as well as Miss Claudia Michael Chai Joee's birthday. Love you!! (:

And on Wednesday, it's AWARDS DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Dear Father God, I pray that everything will go well on that day and that we will have lots of fun! In Jesus' Name I pray, Amen.

Thursday, Vineyard's going to MidValley to watch Megamind. o.o should be fun.

Friday, nothing planned, I guess.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,

I feel tired/stressed. =[

Sometimes I wished I lived by the beach to just relax, listening to the calm waves breaking at the shore.

♥Memories

2010-11-08T17:58:00.003+08:00

I wanna make memories with you guys.

The year is ending. It has been a mixture of good and bad. I'm not proud of some of the decisions I've made this year, but I don't regret it. Otherwise, I wouldn't be who I am today if not for those decisions.

I thank God everyday that I am in this awesome school filled with awesome people. I hope next year would just be as memorable. =]

I had hoped that this would have been a long post but I guess I've got no inspiration to continue. All I wanna say is I love you guys, loudness, retardness, craziness and all. And I would never exchange you guys for any worldly possesions. (:

♥ily

Pen Pals

2010-11-06T10:09:00.002+08:00

Does anyone of you have a pen pal?

Well, I think I have.

Yesterday was on this website called Students of the World and now I'm hooked. You should try it, guys. It's quite fun. You get to meet friends from all over the world.

So far I guess I've gotten three friends and I just registered yesterday! (:

I might even be spending more time there than on blogger or Facebook. But don't worry, I'll still swing by some time.

Shutting Off

2010-11-05T17:23:00.004+08:00

The picture describe what I do when I get hurt. So if you have noticed I haven't been talking, I'm sorry.

Just So You Know by Jesse McCartney

2010-11-04T21:40:00.000+08:00

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

I shouldn't love you but I want to
I just can't turn away
I shouldn't see you but I can't move
I can't look away

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus:]
Just so you know
This feeling's taking control of me
And I can't help it
I won't sit around, I can't let him win now
Thought you should know
I've tried my best to let go of you
But I don't want to
I just gotta say it all
Before I go
Just so you know

It's getting hard to be around you
There's so much I can't say
Do you want me to hide the feelings
And look the other way

And I don't know how to be fine when I'm not
'Cause I don't know how to make a feeling stop

[Chorus]

This emptiness is killing me
And I'm wondering why I've waited so long
Looking back I realize
It was always there just never spoken
I'm waiting here...been waiting here

[Chorus]

Well whaddya know?

2010-11-03T18:01:00.000+08:00

I've changed back to this layout. Don't seem to like the other one anymore.

Ah ladeedaah.

Anyways, eight more days. Aaaweeeeeeeeeeah.

Please, Lord, let us get everything done in time. I pray that all skits, performances or whatever will go right and that if we make mistakes, we can correct them and that we'll play our parts perfectly. All this I ask, in Jesus' name.

Amen.

Happy Birthday..

2010-11-01T16:23:00.003+08:00

Happy Birthday to you

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday dear Jie Jieeeee!!! (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!

Hehe!

Thank you, my darling sister, for being the greatest sister ever! I would not trade you for anything! *unless it was to see Taylor Lautner, but that's acceptable, right? xD just kidding!!*

We always fight and sometimes I hate you and such, but at the end of the day you're always going to be my sister. Nothing can change the fact that you're my sister *unfortunately xDDD*

I love you, Jie! Though you always get on my nerves, making me wonder if you're really the older sibling or the younger, and though there are times when I was jealous of you, or the times when you've hurt me and such, I still love you simply because you are my sister.

Growing up, I've always looked up to you. You were always going to be the one who, well, probably know me best cos I suck at lying to you and you always know my cheeky ways. (: I'm sorry though, for annoying you. For sometimes betraying you. For being unreasonable. For choosing to pick fights at you. And for every other horrible things.

So thank you, Jie, for everything and I pray the God will continue to bless you in each and every way everyday. (:

ily! ♥

Remember...

2010-10-26T17:53:00.003+08:00

Remember the time when we would talk craps the entire day?

When no matter how many fights we have, we'll always end up as friends in the end?

How about the times when we would just sit down and talk about nonsensical stuff yet have so much fun?

The time when we would help out Teacher Pang just to 'ponteng kelas'? xD

There's been many other crazy times. I'm not able to remember but I do know that there's a lot of stuff.

I miss those crazy times. Sure, we fought, we laughed, we cried and we'd even loved. But what separated us?

Different schools...

New gang of people...

I hate that ):

C'mon, remember all the fun we used to have. Remember the friendship? Nothing can break that bond away from us, right?

Even if we'd moved on, there will always be a special place in our hearts what we used to have: memories.

We'd changed but we're still the same. We're all still friends, no matter what. Let's not let distance destroy our friendship.

Plan a reunion date. I'm serious, you guys. I wanna see you guys some time soon. Let's do something before we end up forgetting each other...

Remember...

Ready for ALPT?

2010-10-13T21:57:00.002+08:00

OMGAWSH WE'RE SCREWED, CHARIS! XDDDDD

Today me and Charis wanted to take our HG 905 Alternate Lifepac Test and we didn't wanna fail. So we studied like crazy, shooing everyone away so we can study, and asking David to shut up cos he was giving us wrong information.

Then after school we were like, "Ok, I'm ready."

So Charis went to ask Sher Mayne to photocopy two sets of the ALPT. While waiting, we were sort of hyper, giddying and fidgeting around, studying last minute. Then Sher Mayne gave us the paper and we went to sit down to take the test.

Saw the first answer.

"Oh crap!"

Apparently, we studied studied studied, make sure we know the details and everything. In the end, studied the wrong material. Totally asked us questions we didn't study. -.-

Die, man!

But quite hilarious. Hardwork for nothing. Didn't ask us the questions we were expecting to come out. Ahhhhhh. But oh God, please don't let me and Charis fail. Please let us pass! Really don't wanna redo that stupid darn book man. Wanna move on to 906.

Hehe.

Play My Music

2010-10-11T21:01:00.004+08:00

Ask me if I know how to play Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star or Mary Had A Little Lamb or Auld Lang Syne....

On a recorder.

I wasn't asked if I wanted to learn how to play the recorder. I didn't want to learn. But I was forced to learn. It was a requirement to learn how to play the recorder in primary school. I guess I should be happy that I at least know how to play one musical instrument, but ... it's just not the musical instrument I wanna know how to play. Recorders aren't well-known. Actually, they are but...still...I don't know.

Gosh, how I used to love playing that thing.

So when Sam said "I haven't touched that thing in a long time," it reminded me about the recorder. Like man, how long ago was it since I last played the recorder? Six months? Nope. One year? Nope. Two years? I think so.

I stopped playing that thing two years ago, when I left my primary school after my UPSR year. Secondary school don't teacher music lessons. I wonder if I still know how to play? I should go searching for songs to play. (:

But I really wanna learn how to play the guitar. So badly. Anyone care to teach me how to play? (:

I want a boy...

2010-10-09T23:59:00.005+08:00

Got this from Samantha's tumblr:

I want a boy who will move the hair away from my eyes, and then kiss me.

Who will hold my hand in line at the mall and make all the girls jealous.

A boy who will sing to me at random moments.

Who lets me sleep on his chest.

I want a guy who will tell his family and friends all about me.

Bring me soup or orange juice when I’m sick.

I want a boy who is more goofy than romantic, but knows the right things to say at the right times.

I want a boy who will call me 3 times a day if he went away.

A boy who will apologize for calling too much, and no matter how many times I tell him its okay, he’d still do it.

A boy who will let me gossip to him and just smile and agree with everything I say.

A boy who will throw stuffed animals at me when I acted dumb and then jump on me and kiss me a million times.

Who will bet kisses on who could beat who on at game.

Who makes fun of me just to make me laugh.

A boy who will surprise me with 25 cent ring and we could have contest of how far we can spit our gum.

Who will take me to the park, put his hands around my waist and give me big bear hugs all the time.

A boy who will kiss my neck, just to have a reason to tell me how much he loves my new perfume.

I want a boy who, at night, who will dance in his pajamas with me.

A boy who will take pictures in photo booths with me, someone who will never turn down a trip to the lake and who will play tag on the beach with me.

A boy who could sit with me on the kitchen floor and eat sandwiches.

Who will kiss me in the pouring rain.

I want a boy who would try to teach me how to play the guitar, even if we just end up laughing at each other.

I want a boy who will run his fingers through my hair, share his lollipops with me, and get along with all of my friends.

Someone who would never be afraid to say I love you in front of his friends and someone who would argue with me about silly things just to make up.

Someone who will kiss me at midnight on New Years and who will make funny faces at me when I'm on the phone.

I want a boy who will count stars with me and be friends with my family.

I want a boy who will stay home with me on a Friday night just to help me make dinner and watch movies together under the same blanket.

Someone who will squirt water guns at me in the house after I’ve got him soaked.

I want a boy who looks me the eye and tell me something serious, that was also funny and make me promise not to laugh.

A boy who could make me laugh like no one else can.

I want a boy who will hold me closer than normal when I'm sick, and would play with my hair.

But mostly I want a boy who is my best friend and will always be there for me.

Life...

2010-10-07T20:55:00.007+08:00

Life is a lot of things, in different people’s perspective of it. Some may think that life is a gift from God, and to use it to enjoy each moment of life. Some may think it’s like a mountain or a ladder, climbing your way up to the heaven’s gate. It can also be a place where it is a living nightmare. Everyone is an individualist, so there are a lot of different ways people can put life into perspective. And each has a great way of describing life.

To me, life is like a car driving on the road, going on a journey. The moment the engine of the car starts is the moment you’re born. As you travel on the journey call “Your Life”, there are many obstacles and sometimes you would have to turn either left or right, whether it is the correct path or the wrong path. The road and life is never straight. You’ll always be making the choice on whether you want to go left, right or even straight.

In every obstacle, it can be good, where the world seems to be set right. Those times would be when you’re living every moment of it, enjoying it while you can, making the right choices. Or it can be bad, when everything is wrong; troubles come to haunt you, when nightmares seem real, waiting for the time to end.

However, problems don’t last forever and you would always find yourself back on the right road. But that is only if you turn to your trusty GPS, also known as the people who love you, who care for you, like your friends and family, but most importantly, GOD. They will always help you in your time of need.

Even though you may feel like you’re going to be trap in the wrong directions forever, the journey goes on. Some problems that people usually face nowadays are situations such as divorce, breakups, friendship problems, broken families, etc. Life brings greater unpredictable pleasure, misfortunes, wonders and mysteries.

Although there are a lot of problems, there are still those happy moments in which everyone should remember more than the bad times, even if the bad times affect you more, because of the hurt and the pain. But there is nothing but sweetness in things you cherish as treasured gold, and the happy moments are things that you should cherish deeply.

When the rain pours down, it makes it harder to see the road where you are going. You usually fall down and you sometimes fall down hard on your face in life. You get lost, you get hurt, and you get into all sorts of mess. But you have to get up and to convince yourself that everything is going to be all right again, because it will, if you have the faith in God and in everything He does, for He has planned your life out even before you were conceived.

In life, there would be times when the car would need to stop for gas or for a pit stop. That would mean that you would just have to stop, relax and enjoy life or think back, reflecting yourself on how have the journey been so far. It helps you know where you stand in life, and how it is going to take you from as you continue.

When you are caught in a traffic jam, it means that God is testing your patience, helping you maintain the level of patience you need to tolerate the things you have low tolerance for. But we must have patience, especially patience for life. If we are not patient enough, we would skip things in life that are the most important such as school, work and parenting. But we need enjoy it, because those so-called “boring” moments are the most important, and usually the most memorable moments.

As you grow older, graduated, and working, with a family to support, the road gets more difficult to travel on. Adult life is where most of the pressure starts to come. In the adult life, you learn to be more independent with yourself. To survive on your own, to know what it is like doing things on your own.

But then the road where you are retired comes, when the driving slows down a bit as you reach nearer and nearer each day to your destination, after a long and tiring journey. Sometimes the end of the journey will end fast, in a rush, and others end peacefully, happily. We do not know how our ending will be like until it actually happens, and nobody knows what happens after that.

So, in conclusion, to me, life is like a car ride going on a journey. All there is to do is to enjoy every moment of life, living it for God, forgetting your sorrows for they will not last forever. There is always an end to everything, including the end of the journey call “Life”.

Someday

2010-10-05T17:06:00.001+08:00

If it was up to me
My life would be a blue print on the table
And every year would have a label
I would know precisely the day that you would come and find me
I'd see your face (the one that I dream of)
I just can't wait
Cos I know

Someday, someone's gonna change my life
Some how someone's gonna make me smile
Like I never have before
Someday Someday
Somewhere, someone's gonna steal my heart
Some how we'll never ever be apart
And I can't wait for that someday
Someday isn't so far away

I lay awake at night wondering if I had waste the chances
Giving up on small romances
Then I look outside
You're wondering on the same midnight sky (you're waiting too)
I'm the one that you dream of
These dreams come true

Someday, someone's gonna change my life
Some how someone's gonna make me smile
Like I never have before
Someday Someday
Somewhere, someone's gonna steal my heart
Some how we'll never ever be apart
And I can't wait for that someday
Someday isn't so far away

Guess I'll never know if I passed you on the street the other day
Or maybe you are far across the ocean
Knowing every night I pray that some how he will send you my way
Someday, Someday, Someday

Someday, someone's gonna change my life
Some how someone's gonna make me smile
Like I never have before
Someday Someday
Somewhere, someone's gonna steal my heart
Some how we'll never ever be apart
And I can't wait for that someday
Someday isn't so far away

Someday isn't so far away

By PURENRG

Cacat-ness

2010-10-02T19:48:00.001+08:00

Hey guys

My blog is gonna look a bit cacat for awhile 'cause I'm thinking of changing my blog layout. Just don't know what type of nice layout I want.

Bear with me, yeah (:

Hey you

2010-09-29T20:34:00.002+08:00

Hello,

How are you? It's been quite some time since we last talked to each other. I wonder, how are you? Are you still grieving over the fact that no one likes you? And the fact that you miss me?

Well, guess what?

I'm happy.

Happy that we're no longer seeing each other every single day in school.

Happy that I no longer have to be sucked into your evilness, hearing you whine and grumble all the time.

Do you know how relieved I feel?

All these while, you've been nothing but a big pain-in-the-butt to me. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to put up with you for all these years.

You've lied to me, lied to my face, saying everybody hates me when it's YOU who was hated by everyone, talked craps about me behind my face, and even dared telling me that you talked craps about me to my face.

What is wrong with you? Do you know how to socialize? Cos I think not. Otherwise you wouldn't have treated your "best friend" that way.

You've always made me feel like crap. You always scorn at me, mock me, and when we get into arguments, I'm always the first to say sorry even though you're usually in the wrong.

You like every single guy I like, and then you take them away from me. You gave up your boyfriend cos he and I like each other but I gave him up cos it wasn't worth throwing OUR FRIENDSHIP cos of him. And you still TALK ABOUT IT! Don't you know what's passed is past?

I forgive and forget, you blame and remember.

You made me think people really hated me. I defended you whenever people talked about you. And YOU NEVER DID! You let people think I wasn't who I am. You spread rumors about me. You bossed me around, telling me what to do, how to live my life. It's was always you. Always what you wanted. You always get your way.

It's either we don't talk or I give in. It's always we do what you want. And when I want to do what I want, you pout. You ask for help, I help. I ask for help, you help...and then you make it seem as though I forced you to help me. Like seriously, get a clue.

All these years I put up with your nonsense. All these years I listened to your crap. All these years you bothered me so much until I feel like screaming and hitting you. All these years you made me feel worthless.

You are the WORSE best friend I've ever had.

So now I am just so finally glad that you're out of my life. It's been too long. I hope you're okay without me. Because I know I am without you.

Someone loves you

2010-09-23T17:15:00.003+08:00

LISTEN UP AND LISTEN GOOD. Ain't repeating, just saying this once.

Think everybody hates you? That no one loves you? You're SO WRONG! Don't ever think that.

JESUS LOVES YOU!

Yes, He does. He died on the cross for OUR SINS, not because He committed a crime.

Still think that no one loves you?

Well, that's just sad...

btw, totally off-topic and irrelevant, but Happy Birthday, Khay Tong!!! (:

Hehe (:

2010-09-22T17:45:00.002+08:00

I love my nieces. They're so cute! And when I say nieces, I don't just mean the four naughty ones. I mean Baby Alyssa too! (:

Hey

2010-09-22T17:32:00.002+08:00

It's been long time since I actually blogged. I don't really know what to blog about. All I can say is that I'm glad David and Francyne have stopped bugging me with that thing and I'm really glad my two problems after a long period of time have finally been solved. Like waaahooo!!

RELAXATION!

No, seriously. I don't know if you guys could tell but I was ready to fall off the ledge for the past few weeks cos of it. I hated feeling like that. Thank God I'm okay now.

Guess that's what friends are for.

Like Charis said,
"Friends come and go out of your heart/lives, but they will also always come back."

I'm glad. I really needed you guys.

Fate has a strange way of bringing us back together. I know David doesn't believe in Fate, but I do. (:

Dear God,

Thank you so much for my friends and family, Lord. If it weren't for them, I wouldn't have made it through this far and I wouldn't be who I am if not for You. Thank you for my brilliant friends, Charis, David, Carmen, Claudia, Michelle, Samuel, Francyne, Boon Sing, Derick, Bryann, Basil, Suan Kai and all my other friends whose names I've not mentioned.

I love my dear friends so much. I pray that I will be able to be there for them just like how they've always been there for me. I pray that our friendships will never end and that as long as we've got You, Lord, that's enough for any of us to live for. I pray that if we shall fall, we would never lose faith nor trust in You. I pray that You will guide us back to the right path if we happen to stumble on the wrong path.

All this I ask, in Jesus' name I pray,

Amen.

One more thing.

Aaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh whywhywhywhy must I be the bimbo for the Radio Talk Show thingy?! I'm gonna be humiliated far worse than Sam. =[

Christmas/Brithday Wish List

2010-09-13T20:59:00.004+08:00

So far, I've gotten

1) Blue yoohoo doll, which looks like this:

2) Anything to do with Vampire Knights

3) Painting set. Yes, I'm into painting right now. Possibly a palette, paint brushes, good artblock and a book of things to paint.

4) A new small notebook where I can put all of my quotes!!! I am in desperate need of one. =[

That's all I've got for now. Hehe.

Guess no New Slate

2010-09-13T20:13:00.002+08:00

Brr...

How hard is it to get it in your freakin' thick head that I want nothing more to do with you??????

You say you didn't mean to do what you did. You say that you're sorry. But you KNOW that talking about it, or even just talking TO YOU reminds me of what you did!

Why?

Do you really want to hurt me that much that you talk to me all the time to constantly remind me of that stupid day?

Or are you really that stupid and desperate?

You say you're willing to be a Christian if I want. OF COURSE I WANT YOU TO BE A CHRISTIAN! But I don't want you to be a Christian for the reason why you wanna be one. Which is cos you want my answer as a yes! You're only saying that not because you believe in Him.

You sad, pathetic, stupid, idiotic jerk. Get a life, why don't you? Leave me alone. I'm tired of this. I'm tired of constantly fighting with you. I'm tired of tears. I'm tired and I'm done.

Just leave me alone.

New Slate

2010-09-13T00:01:00.002+08:00

I should sleep, but I just want to let you guys know. I'm done with my problems.

Goodbye MI.

Hello, Jake.

Goodbye MI. Thanks for helping me. I'm sorry I can't be your friend anymore.

Jake, I miss talking to you. So I guess I've got no choice *well, actually I do*. With David bugging me. With ELIZEBETH bugging me. Seeing you so uncomfortable these past few days when I've been over at your place. I guess I hate to see you unhappy. And, for Francyne's sake too, I'll talk to you. We'll talk this over. And then we'll see where this take us.

Btw, Christmas coming up! Already I've got two things I want as a present:

- Anything to do with Vampire Knights! *if possible, the entire collection of manga!*

- A blue yoohoo friends doll. So cute! Visit at yoohoofriends.com. I love the small, blue one where you squeeze it and it'll make the cutest sound! *sighs*

Ahhhh, well.

Anyway, yeah.

Goodbye MI.

Hello, Jake.

And heh......hi guys? (:

Say Goodbye

2010-09-08T15:26:00.004+08:00

I love this song. It just seem to be in my mind now, especially the chorus.

Say Goodbye - S Club 7

In the years to come
Will you think about these moments that we shared

In the years to come
Are you gonna think it over
And how we lived each day with no regrets

Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
'Cause true love never dies

In a year from now
Maybe there'll be things
we'll wish we'd never said

In a year from now
Maybe we'll see each other
Standing on the same street corner, no regrets

Each and every end is always written in the stars
If only I could stop the world
I'd make this last

Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, so it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye (so say goodbye)
But don't you cry
'Cause true love never dies

And when you need my arms to run into
I'll comfort you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel

Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts in your heart,
is the only way for destiny
Sometimes goodbye, though it hurts,
is the only way now for you and me
Though it's the hardest thing to say
I'll miss your love in every way
So say goodbye
But don't you cry
`Cause a true love never dies

I remember that night so clearly. The night where it all ended. The night we told each other things we didn't have to guts to say. The night you said you were sorry for hurting me all these while. The night where I watched you walk away, hoping you'll turn around... But you never did...

Move Along

2010-09-08T13:50:00.002+08:00

You know, I'm pretty sure that you guys could tell I was pretty depress lately. If you didn't, well you're pretty bad at observing. :P

Anyway, was reading Chee Loong's blog when suddenly as I was reading his latest blog post, I realize something. I am an idiot. Here I am, feeling sorry for myself, not moving anywhere as life moves on. I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't let this one problem get to me. I should smile and laugh it off. Move along. Let go of my yesterday, my past.

And I just want to say, thank you to my friends *Charis, David, Carmen, Claudia and more* who's been there for me. Thank you to BOON SING *I can't miss you out, as much as I want to, though. Haha!* for being a total jerk, making me laugh even though I did say I wanted to slap you. Thank you But most especially to Elizebeth who wasted your time just to give me advice on this for about almost a week now.

And, here's a little reminder for me:

Chee Loong's favorite song lyrics, The All American Rejects - Move Along

Go ahead as you waste your days with thinking
When you fall everyone stands
Another day and you've had your fill of sinking
With the life held in your
Hands are shaking cold
These hands are meant to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
Move along

So a day when you've lost yourself completely
Could be a night when your life ends
Such a heart that will lead you to deceiving
All the pain held in your
Hands are shaking cold
Your hands are mine to hold

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
Move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)

When everything is wrong we move along
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
When everything is wrong, we move along
Along, along, along

When all you got to keep is strong
Move along, move along like I know you do
And even when your hope is gone
Move along, move along just to make it through
[x3]

(Move along)
(Go on, go on, go on, go on)
Right back what is wrong
We move along

Yikes :S

2010-09-07T16:18:00.002+08:00

Been thinking about stuff for a really long time now. I guess what I wanna say is that I'm glad for friends like you guys.

It's been real hard for me lately, what with the MI and Jake problem, now with school work and such coming up also.

Sometimes I just wish life was simpler, and that every problem is solved within a snap of a finger.

But it's not. And I gotta face it.

Charis, you're probably gonna kill me. I talked to MI the other day. David, yes I know I blocked him the other day but I added him back.

Anyway, maybe I'm on the road to recovering. A good cry and good listening ears are what I needed and I had that.

Thanks, Iain. I'm sorry I was a jerk. I'm glad we're friends again.

Charis, you're right. They will come back being my friends again. "It all takes time and willingless to forgive".

Now all I gotta do is wait for him to come back.

I love you, guys

2010-08-26T15:59:00.005+08:00

Chelle, we fight A LOT but at the end of the day, I thank God and my lucky stars that fate has brought me a best friend. Yeah, sometimes you annoy me, but you're the nicest and most loyal friend I've ever had. I love you! =]

Daniel, your 'flirtatious' behavior and also your kindness is something I've always been amazed by. I never knew a guy could be such a gentleman before I met you.

Claudia, the sweetest girl I know. You always know what to say, especially since you've been through the similar problem before. You're understanding and easy to talk to and your hugs are very sweet. You're cute when you go hyper, and you're always nice to everyone! (:

Carmen, somehow I can always count on you to say things that'll make me laugh. You're sweet, funny, but sometimes your death stare scares me! =X You're really nice, and I hope that your problems will go away soon.

Derick, you're funny and sweet. Plus, with your innocence, it cracks me up. I'm glad to have known you. You're like a bright firefly in a jug.

Basil, your attempts to be perfect sometimes amuses me. Your cockiness is a laugh, and deep down under that 'perasan' behavior of yours, you're actually a really nice, friendly guy once I got to know you better. =]

David, your silliness and annoying ways irks me sometimes but it helps. Especially when you nag me and such, because I know that they are for my own good.

Charis, you're awesome, you know that? *of course you do*. With your craziness and randomness, who's to say that it won't crack me up? =]

I care about ALL of you guys, you know that? In a short period of time, I've come to love and care for you guys. I have no idea what to do without you. So, thanks, guys, for always being there. For being you. For helping me stay strong with problems I've faced.

I love you guys.

New Creations

2010-08-24T23:43:00.001+08:00

I've created new poems/quotes.

Will post them up soon.

I hope.

When I have the time lah.

Til then.

btw,
ily

Worst Month Ever

2010-08-23T17:00:00.000+08:00

And to think that my last post was asking August to be nice to me.

Anyway, this month hasn't exactly been easy on me. But hey, we go through life with challenges, right? So we just need to make the most out of it.

But I just wished that things had turned out differently than I'd hope.

September is coming and I hope it'll be nicer to me than August.

(:

2010-08-12T16:35:00.004+08:00

Hello, August.

Please be nice to me.

Sighs. I miss blogging. I wanna blog. I just don't have anything to blog about. Well, there are things to blog about but I'm lazy to write them all here.

Furthermore, I am now thinking of doing more work than I usually do. It actually helps, with the new sitting arrangements. (:

But gah.

Camp's coming soon and I can't wait! (:

Plus, I'm also nervous 'bout some stuff. Tell you guys maybe soon in school...

Peace!

btw

ily♥

i really wanna stay away but im afraid i ain't got the willpower to go. ):

Happy Birthday! (:

2010-08-08T14:55:00.001+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SHANTON CHEONG KA HOE! (:

Yes, it's your birthday! You're the greatest! Thanks for all the fun crazy wacky times we've shared together! Wished I could have been there to celebrate, but eh, I tried calling you but your phone must have been switched off, a few minutes after I sms.

But yeah.

I miss you, my loving, perverted, sick-minded, but funnily hilarious brother! (: (:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND I MISS YOU! (:

Goodbye

2010-08-08T14:50:00.003+08:00

I am a pathetic loser for even letting this get too far. I'm sorry, this is the end. I'm sick and tired of tears, fed up with my web of lies, and I'm caught, drowning in my frustrations.

What I did was wrong. I really shouldn't have gotten that far, even when I know I don't stand a chance. I hate myself for doing this.

Now I'm in way too deep, I'm trying to get out but it seems impossible, when I see you practically everyday. Why must if be you, of all people?

I probably deserve better, but somehow it's just so impossible. I wish we could turn back time. I give my heart out too easily, a victim of pain and sorrows.

Sometimes I just wish ... I never met you..

I'll be a strong girl. I'll keep my crap to myself, and if you notice that we won't talk for awhile, it's because this is goodbye..

I Miss You

2010-08-06T16:49:00.001+08:00

How would you feel?

2010-08-05T17:07:00.005+08:00

How would you feel, if people say you're fat?

You're ugly.

You're a b***h.

Everybody hates you.

Everybody thinks you're a wannabe.

How would you feel when there's no one to turn to when you need help?

That you're a snob.

Everybody's just being your friend cos they pity you.

They think you're pathetic.

They think you're a playgirl.

They judge you before they get to know you.

How would you feel, thinking what they say is true?

You distance yourself from others.

People get frustrated as they don't know what you're thinking.

How would you feel when you're down and the person you wanna confide in ain't there for you?

They ask you to tell them your feelings but you can't.

Because they won't listen.

When they insult you.

When they tease you.

When they say things about you.

And you have to act like you don't care when deep down you wanna scream out loud?

How do you feel, when you're alone?

When people leave you out of things.

When you feel left out.

How would you feel?

Yeah, I'm a coward, I know. I run away during confrontations. But you know smt? What you said hurts and what I said hurts too. Fine. I'll stop if you stop and stop misinterpreting my actions. You're mad at me, probably gonna block me. I'm wasting my time. But hey, I have a guilty conscience as well. So I'm sorry. Yeah, i know. Sorry won't change a thing, but it's better than not saying "sorry" at all, ain't it?

Music

2010-08-04T18:00:00.001+08:00

You're it
You're the ultimate
It's automatic, I'm sure of it
No lie
So don't even try to
Tell me that you're not the guy
Cos I've been waiting all my life
For someone just like you
You're it
You're the ultimate
YOU!

Untitled

2010-08-04T16:55:00.002+08:00

Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh.

I am

1/ hungry

2/ confused

3/ sad

Hungry cos, well, hungry lah. What else?

Confused because of some stuff my friends told me some things that makes me so confused.

Oh, and angry at some people also for using reverse psychology on me. That's not a good thing. It made me feel guilty and also it sort of made me mad. I mean, come on lah, people. I know you guys are trying to help, but please. It's my decision, my life. I choose to do whatever I want to.

Don't lay the guilt trip on me because I seriously really hate that and then I go against my own judgements to follow yours. And it's FRUSTRATING cos I actually really really wanna decide on my own.

I know you guys mean well, but...ah nvm.

-.-

Anyway, I shall hunt for food 'fore anyone gives me a lecture and also. I smell Chipster! (:

Love ♥

2010-07-31T16:37:00.001+08:00

Ironic

2010-07-30T17:21:00.003+08:00

Well.

A lot of things happened today. Quite ironic, to be honest. Perfect timing lah wei.

1\ We found out who was the culprit.

2\ Jan picked me to go up for show&tell.

3\ errrrrm.

Haha.

But yeah.

I got 41.5% for my Show&Tell. Weeeeee

Anyways.

It's short, I know but I gotta go off now.

See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! (:

btw,

ily

I love you

2010-07-29T22:14:00.002+08:00

Yes, I do. =]

Wanna know who I love?

I love YOU! =]

Hehe!

Carmen, I miss you! ):

Ohoh, Charis, Garrett just told me an awesome idea - well, maybe lor - but dunno if you'll agree. Keke. (:

But, yeah. I love you.

You know who you are.

Yes, you. I'm talking about you. (:

Anyway, I seem to be really happy these few days. Partly cos I've got such wonderful friends!

Ok, I'm crapping.

Being random, wanna blog, just no idea what to blog about so just crap.

Ahh, me don't wanna be up next to do Show&Tell tomorrow. Me wanna be next week! (:

Peace! Me going off! (:

btw

ily

Trust

2010-07-27T16:12:00.002+08:00

That's the keyword. Trust.

To trust in God, to trust in hope, to trust in faith, to trust in friends.

Like what I said in my "simplified" devotion, it was really really extremely hard for me to trust anyone after what happened to me last year.

Feelings of frustration, of anger, of hurt, building up inside of me each and every day. One day I knew it was going to explode. Having no one to turn to, alone, forgotten. Nobody listened and nobody cared. Everyone was too wrapped up in their own life that they'd forgotten about me. I guess I sort of deserved it. Soon, I was slowly drifting away from everyone and everything I once knew. Later on, I began blaming God. After all, he's in control of everything, so this means he's controlling my suffering.

Then I went to Vineyard. Had met so many wonderful friends such as:

- Charis the Carebear
- David the Taufufaa *or Mr. Overreactor or Earth Shaker, your pick*
- Daniel the Triple D *or Phantom of the Opera*
- Claudia the Teddy Bear
- Carmen the Edward Cullen Obsessive Girl
- Michelle the Bestie
- Derick the Sherlock Daby
- Basil the Watson Cha *or B.Cha*
- Zhao Yu the Blueshadow

And many more.

But it didn't seem enough. Even if they'd proven to me that they could be trustworthy, I still found it hard since I was so accustomed to being ... a loner.

So during Youth Camp, I prayed to God, asking him to help me. To send at least one person to let me know that people actually care. Then I began to cry, realizing just how stupid and selfish I was.

I mean, Jesus died on the cross for everything we did, not because He did something wrong. And He faced much worse pain than I did. So I started crying again, asking Him to forgive me.

After Youth Camp, a few days later, Elizebeth Tan asked me if I'd asked God to send someone because that night, she felt this urge to come over to me and hug me but she wasn't sure if it was a calling. So I said yes. And deep down, I was happy. God answered my prayers.

But it still wasn't enough. So He send Asam Laksa, aka Samuel Lu. (:

A few weeks later after always talking with Sam, I realized that I can actually trust him. So I did. I trusted him with secrets. I told him stuff I told no one. And soon, he became the one I trust the most. And he taught me to trust people again. I began to be more opened about my feelings to Charis, David and the others instead of always keeping it down inside my heart.

So, I just want to take this moment to say.

Thank you, Charis, David, Claudia, Chelle, Carmen...for always being there and I'm just so sorry that I was too "blind" to see that. I love you guys! (: (: (: (: (:

Thank you, Sam, for listening, for not judging, not advicing, for bring joy and trust back into my life. I love you like a big brother! (:

But mostly.

Thank you, GOD, for never leaving me, even when I'd doubt you, and for sending such lovely and wonderful friends! (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (: (:

Suvery Question 101

2010-07-21T20:29:00.001+08:00

How do you handle people you don't like?

BANNED!

2010-07-01T16:24:00.001+08:00

Banned again.

This is not Karmen. This is just her friend, helping her to tell you why she has not been blogging for a long time now.

She might not be back until Monday, so hang in there, people, while waiting for her. :D

Peace!

Aaarrrrrrrrrgggghh

2010-06-26T09:47:00.004+08:00

Life's a mess.

No, life's a bliss.

Mess....bliss...mess...bliss...mess...bliss...me-iss...

Aiya, I don't know lah!

Was talking to Hubert yesterday at cell group. And, well, we got talking *since everybody was playing 'football'. =.=*

Anyway, well, I'm not sure what exactly did the breakup did to him, but I could see he was all torn up. Even though he claims not to be. Shit. I talked and talked to him, he talked and talked to me.

All of a sudden.

Saw tears in his eyes.

Oh, crap, I must have said something. =X

Anyway, yeah. After he left, I guess I kinda stoned, thinking about some stuff... Well, four particular things, anyway.

Hmm, well I dunno.

I mean, there was me, sitting down on the edge of the couch in Pas. Jackie and Pas. Leslie's house, with Aaron reading on my right and Chelle eating nasi lemak on my left, sitting down Japanese style. Let me tell you. Not such a good comfortable way of sitting. Well, actually it is, but once when you try to move your legs, cos it's been in that position for a long time, it's quite painful cos they're too numbed already *and there I was, stoning for about 20++ mins or smt*.

Guessed people noticed me.

Jenn Ming kinda waved in front of me and asked if I was okay, cos he said and I quote "You look as if you were stoning". Lol. Ah.

Then I zoned out again, then felt someone ruffling playfully on my hair and saw Sam, smiling down at me, asking me if I was okay. As usual, I said yes. But he said, "No you're not okay. You're really emo today hor." Luckily before he could ask further, Brand distracted him.

So yeah.

I see life as a train ride. Each stop means a turning point in life. Enjoy the ride until it reaches the end.

Ehhh, I'mma gonna use this as my essay topic thingy!! Weeee! I've found out what I'm going to write!

Now all I gotta do is stop procrastinating and actually start on it. =X

Hmm...

Was supposed to sound emo, but thanks to the ending bit up above, doesn't sound so emo-ish anymore, right? Not after the 'weeee' bit. =X

Ahh.

Well.

btw,

ily

And once again...

2010-06-25T18:25:00.003+08:00

I must say...

I enjoy blogging even though I don't particularly have a thought in mind on what to blog about. All I can think about is 'urrggh, my itchy throat hursts like crazy' which makes me wanna cry in depression. Aaand. Well. "He" is also in my mind. ♥

Well, waddya know? Today was a sort of boring-ish / random-ish / emo-ish day.

DAVID FOO!!! I DON'T LIKE YOU!!!!! =[

OKOK! Since I'm sure you're all wondering what in the world am I saying, before you think I've gone demented.

It was boring cos . . . well . . . it was boring lah.

It was random because David nagged me to drink a lot of water, until I gotta go toilet. Then I banged both sides of my head on the toilet paper thingy and the door. -__-"

Random again because then during ... science, I think, Charis came up to me and started really random conversations. @_@ Don't ask. Too lame to repeat. Let's just say that I died of Charis's lameness (how am I writing this post if I'm dead? Easy. I'm the Ghost of Vineyard!).

Another thing. Cos I've got cough, I was about to cough when suddenly Stupid Sam came along and jabbed me on my neck which cut off the cough and turned it into a choking type of cough. Urgh.

And then emo cos, you know how once you hear emo songs, you sometimes get the drift and start feeling emo? Well, yeah. I got emo. But was listening to those kind of rockish emo-ish type of songs. Anyway, got out my test pad, and wrote an emo thingy. Which Del and Sam interrupted by coming up to me. Sighs. Never mind; don't blame you guys. Sorry if I'd seemed rude when I suddenly closed the door.

Btw, Charis, go emo bloggie for more details about the emo post I was writing. David, pssh lah you. Don't read my emo blog cos you just don't. Pssh at you, too, Carmen, for giving up on reading it cos you found it depressing *yadayadayadablahblahblah*

Random again at the score key, when Sam told me I took over his place at being 'emo'. Err, dude, way to bring up guilt trip, mo? *psst, that was cos I scolded him the other day about the way he was treating Chelle, 'memba, guys?*

Then random convo again with Josh and Sam teasing Del. Pity her lah, always kena bully.

Then show-and-tell. David, Zhao Yu and Derick. Sighs. They didn't do too well. D:

Afterwards...more bullying poor Sam. :D then went home, now coughing like crazy it hurts. Aahh

I'm off, you guys.

btw,

ily

I act like a 15 years old

2010-06-25T16:22:00.003+08:00

[] You know how to make a pot of coffee.
[x] You keep track of dates using a calendar.
[] You own a credit card.
[] You know how to change the oil in a car.
[x] You've done your own laundry.
[] You can vote in an election.
[x] You can cook for yourself.
[] You think politics are interesting

TOTAL SO FAR: 3

[] You show up for school late a lot.
[x] You always carry a pen/pencil in your bag/purse/pocket.
[] You've never gotten a detention.
[] You have forgotten your own birthday.
[x] You like to take walks by yourself.
[] You know what credibility means, without looking it up.
[x] You drink caffeine at least once a week.

TOTAL SO FAR: 6

[x] You know how to do the dishes.
[x] You can count to 10 in another language.
[] When you say you're going to do something you usually do it.
[] You can mow the lawn.
[] You study even when you don't have to.
[x] You have hand washed a car before.

TOTAL SO FAR: 8

[x] You can spell experience, without looking it up.
[] The people at Starbucks know you by name.
[] Your favorite kind of food is take out.
[x] You can go to the store without getting something you don't need.
[] You understand political jokes the first time they are said.
[x] You can type pretty quick.

TOTAL SO FAR: 11

[] Your only friends are from your place of employment.
[] You have been to a Tupperware party.
[x] You have realized that practically no one will take you seriously unless you are over the age of 25 and have a job.
[] You have more bills than you can pay.
[x] You have been to the beach.
[x] You use the internet every day.
[] You have been outside 3 or more times a day.
[x] You make your bed in the morning

TOTAL: 15...exactly correct

I tag:

David

Zhao Yu

Samantha

Charis

Carmen

Hilary

Jolene

Jade

Do's and Want's

2010-06-24T18:25:00.002+08:00

I stare at out my window when the rain pours

I feel the morning breeze upon my face

I sigh at the sensational sunray shining upon me

I like the smell of the grass

. . .

I wanna . . .

Climb on trees!

Sleep under the stars!

Feel the rush of the ocean!

Watch the sun set/rises

btw,

ily